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  • Ruth

#lifewithcancer month 4

I need to apologize to everyone. I posted a rather vague social media post and should have been more forthcoming. I want my posts about our #lifewithcancer to be helpful and thought-provoking, not mysterious. I just got worried and kept it in. I know better than that. It's just that the feeling I've had since September 12, 2020 got worse and I tried to ignore it. You know that feeling, right? It feels like a brick is sitting in the pit of the my stomach. It never goes away. Sometimes it lightens a bit, but it is always there.

Thursday and Friday of last week, Steve was feeling really good. Energy level was up, he was walking further, doing a few chores and not as tired. Then we noticed he'd developed a wet cough (as opposed to the dry cough he had when we discovered his cancer) that was producing clear phlegm, his voice was hoarse again and he started napping a lot. Something I've discovered, which is something other cancer patients have mentioned before is that once you (or someone you love) has cancer, any unusual cough, fever, ache, pain, etc. makes your mind go immediately to "what if". He scheduled an appointment with our primary care provider (PCP) and we went in today. We discussed the possibility that he has pneumonia again. He had it when his lung collapsed and it was still there when he had his lung removed. It was gone before he was discharged from the hospital in December. But as we all know, cancer weakens the immune system and lets things sneak in. A couple of prescriptions and some rest and he'll hopefully be good as new (well, maybe as good as he possibly can be). He did get an x-ray and we'll see what that shows.

So Steve and I are gonna keep making this journey. I have a feeling it's going to take us places we never knew existed. There isn't a map to follow and I don't think I'll trust any short cuts. The good news? This journey has helped us realize that we are in it together. We both have different views but we will be there for each other. And we are so grateful to have all of your support and prayers.

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